Cheetos, Cats, & Other Items Used As Weapons

How exactly can Cheetos be used as a weapon? It’s not 100% clear from the police report, but evidently Chester’s delicious cheese doodles somehow figured into a domestic assault when a verbal fight turned really bad between a Tennessee couple. I think I would believe this story a little more if it were between two young siblings, but the fact that the couple are both in their 40s makes this somewhat bizarre. While the account sounds absurd, in the grand scheme of crazy, this is just another example to add to the list. After the jump, some of my favorite items turned into weapons during fights.

  • Early this year, “Project Runway” contestant-gone-nuts, Kenley Collins, was arrested after throwing her cat at her fiancé. Needless to say, they are no longer engaged.
  • While breaking and entering, Antonio Vasquez assaulted a home-dweller with an 8-inch sausage. However, police were unable to recover the sausage-turned-weapon because Vasquez fed it to his dog. [The Smoking Gun]
  • Donna Sturkie-Anthony is a whole new dimension of insane. As a youngster in 1991, she smeared her own feces all over the back of a police car while extremely inebriated. Almost two decades later, she was so enraged that she ripped her sister’s prosthetic leg off and used it as a weapon to beat her sister. [The Pittsburgh Channel]