You would think that with all the different advancements in communication having an affair would be easier. Not so, according to a survey by Telstra Corp, a dominant phone company in Australia. The survey found that 25 percent of Australian cell phone users found out their partner or someone else’s was being unfaithful through text messages. When it comes to infidelity, it’s best to go low-tech if you’re trying not to get caught. Affairs occurred before cell phones, caller ID, and email, so pretend you don’t have these creature comforts. If you and your guy on the side are meant to hook up, then it will happen without an excessive use of technology.
If you’re bad at remembering phone numbers, store your guy’s under a seemingly innocuous girl’s name. Just don’t text him. You can deny anything when just a phone number is presented, but words will just spell out that affair. You could lock your cell phone, but then you’ll make your real guy suspicious.
Emails aren’t OK either. Yes, I know you have a password, but it’s probably something easy to remember, which means anyone who knows you well will be able to figure it out. And would you really want to risk accidentally sending an email to your No. 1 guy, or, gasp, your boss? No love letters, unless you and No. 2 work out some sort of code (and who has time for that?).
Don’t even think about Twittering when you’ve lied about where you are because that provides clues. And your super sleuth man will put two and two together. And even if he doesn’t specifically know you’re having an affair, he will nonetheless become suspicious.
Your home computer should not aid you in arranging a secret rendezvous or romantic getaway. All that info will be stored on your hard drive somewhere, and you know guys are good at finding the one thing you didn’t want them to.
It helps to keep your female friend to male friend ratio even on Facebook. Too many guy friends will make your man jealous. And don’t even think of flirting while on Facebook, and let your side guy know that any lovey-dovey wall scrolls will be deleted along with his friendship.
Now here’s when you should use the computer to cheat. Use that built-in camera wisely. Practice your best innocent and appalled looks until you’ve perfected them. They’ll come in handy if you’re ever confronted about the affair.