An Open Letter To The Fools At Bacardi

Dear Bacardi,

I am writing to express my concern about the scary things going on in advertising lately. It seems like each ad gets crazier or more offensive then the next. Did you see the new Tampax ad where a boy wakes up one day with a vagina? WTF. Anyhoo…I know that companies such as yours are getting all desperate to sell stuff (even fruity rum drinks) with the current economic climate, but does that really mean it’s acceptable to come up with a blatantly offensive ad campaign? I need help understanding the thought process behind the worst campaign I think I’ve ever seen, your new Bacardi Breezers campaign entitled “Ugly Girlfriends,” which featured a variety of “Ugly Girlfriends” as the new accessory for women to look hotter this summer. Let me get this straight…are you saying that if I want to be the hottest piece of meat at the BBQ this 4th of July, I should bring my fat friend Hilda and next to her I will look thin and cute? Or that I should choose between Hilda and Gertrude? Maybe I’d rather offset my own mildly jiggly thighs with Hilda’s super-jiggly ones or would I rather bring Gertrude because her double chin will make mine look smaller? Aside from the obvious reasons why I would find these implications wildly offensive — I don’t have a problem with my thighs and Hilda’s are fine too — I’m wondering what all this has to do with Bacardi Breezers. Can you explain the connection? And what if I happened to be one of the “Ugly Girlfriends?” (That’s a hypothetical because I am hot and so is Gertrude.) Would that make me feel so fantastic that I would, in theory, run out to the Circle K and buy a sixer of Breezers? I think not.

Suggestion: You should fire anyone who green lit this thing, grow a conscience, and come up with some better ideas to move your crap product. No one likes Bacardi Breezers anyway. Sorry to break the news.Oh and by the way, I do appreciate Bacardi and McCann Digital pulling the campaign and issuing a formal apology, but I’ll save my props for the women’s sites that drew attention to this BS in the first place.

Confused and Annoyed,
Ami Angelowicz

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