The “Slim Mouth Piece”: Beauty Product Or Choking Hazard?

Everyone wants a tighter something this day. Someone at some point decided that our butts and thighs need to have more elasticity than a gumby doll. While this obsession with tightness has added two, ahem 20, minutes to my daily beauty routine, it’s definitely worth it during bathing season. What’s not worth it: the Slim Mouth Piece designed to create a taut face but more likely to cause your premature death by choking. Maybe I am just too literal and it’s my problem that I can’t get my mom’s voice saying “don’t put that in your mouth, you will choke!” out of my head. If it’s just my own childhood and authority issues rearing their ugly heads, then who am I to stop you from trying the Slim Mouth Piece…Don’t do it! Here’s the skinny on the product which claims to skinny-up your face. Basically, you put this stick inside your mouth, and the spring inside the stick forces your mouth open. In order to close your mouth you have to exercise the muscles on the side of your face by sucking your cheeks in. By using these muscles you are strengthening them and developing a tauter facial look. I guess it’s the same theory behind exercising any other part of your body to go from flabby to fabulous, but putting a spring in your mouth that forces it open falls somewhere in the range between beauty product and sexual fetish. Putting aside my concern over just how flattering the “steroid body builder cheeks of steel” look really is, I am going to issue a word of warning: I can just see this thing snapping out of place. This is the product choking hazards legitimately exist for. If you are going to use it try and have a certified Heimlich maneuver trained friend nearby.

Actually, the main aim of the product is to make your mouth bigger. Oh yes, because if your mouth is bigger your face will appear smaller. Maybe I missed something, but when did small faces become in? Maybe I am just jealous because I have a big face and a big mouth and no Slim Mouth Piece is going to change that. For $10 I might have been tempted to try it, but it’s sold in pharmacies…in Japan.