An Open Letter To Steve Zalewski
We hear from Star magazine that you’re trying to sell some tapes, which show Danielle Staub giving you your “routine blow job,” as Teresa once eloquently phrased it. Some kind advice: Don’t do it. For the sake of our eyes not running away from their sockets, if nothing else. While we understand that you’re upset because you had to spend thousands of dollars on Danielle (even though she outright says that she only dates men for their money), you don’t really need to make this quick buck. Everyone totally thought you were gross for getting fellatio from her, but then we totally loved when you were holding in your laughs during the break-up scene, so why not quit while you’re ahead? Destroy the videos, save your reputation (or what’s left of it), and just continue on down the path of life, wearing your Ed Hardy hats that almost cover your premature bald spot. K?