New Marriage Stats Get Us Down, Then Pick Us Right Back Up

Did you know that over half of married women regret walking down the aisle with their husbands? If you said yes, well, then you know some disgruntled peeps. Just kidding! According to a recent survey of 35,000 women, happily ever after is only for the movies. Duh. While most women admitted they didn’t believe in a “soul mate,” a whopping 72 percent said they have considered leaving their husbands. But comparing those figures to the divorce rate, 20 percent of them are chickens who stick it out. Worse yet, half of ‘em were also completely bored in the boudoir or couldn’t remember the last time they had any kind of freaky deaky fun. Dang, if you can’t grab your husband and say, “Yum, yum, gimme some,” what is the point? Especially since 79% of those surveyed admitted a woman has got needs. Alas, I’m single and I thought it was hard to get laid, but marriage sounds worse…sigh. What is there to look forward to? Hm, maybe the perky cheerleader inside me should turn that frown upside down and see marriage as a glass half full as opposed to half empty. And not all of them give you diamonds. So, keep it real ladies, you know where your heart and your vag are really at.

Here are five reasons you should, despite the stats, still be down for marriage,.

  1. Fifty percent are happily married and those odds are pretty darn good, for any gambler. So you know, read the stats, freak out, and then realize, as far as institutions go, there are much worse ones.
  2. And no other institution will give you diamonds.
  3. In these tough times, if you lose your job, you have another bread winner to bank on.
  4. You get tax breaks. Heck, I’m hoping they legalize gay marriage so my roommate and I can go for common law!
  5. People won’t annoy you about why a nice girl like you isn’t married.