The Five Guys Who Shouldn’t Have Made People’s Hottest Bachelors Issue

People’s Hottest Bachelors issue hits newsstands this Friday, and we’ve got the list. Among the supposedly best looking eligible men in Hollywood are few gentlemen who simply don’t do it for us. The offenders, after the jump.

  1. Brody Jenner: He stars in a commercial where he checks out girls’ butts in front of his female friend Lauren Conrad, who he used to date. Not cool, dude. Also, he has a “Gothic jewelry line.”
  2. John Mayer: If this list were a roundup of the guys People believed would remain single forever, Mayer would top that list. Yes, he’s available, but he also doesn’t understand how to interact with women. Or humans for that matter.
  3. Bret Michaels: We know too much about Michaels from watching him on “Rock of Love” to ever, ever want to get near him.
  4. Shia LaBeouf: What with his gross comments about his mom and the drunk-driving stuff, LaBeouf can’t get it together, and we’re not into being Ms. Fix It. Plus, he supposedly has a small penis.
  5. Lance Bass: It was good of People to include a few gay guys (Adam Lambert also made the list), but has Bass done anything since ‘N Sync besides come out of the closet?