Let’s Set A Frisky World Record

When I was kid, my dad (a stock broker at the time) had a client who either A) set a world record for pogo-sticking up the stairs of the Statue of Liberty, B) wanted to set a world record for pogo-sticking up the stairs of the Statue of Liberty, or C) mentioned something about pogo-sticks and the Statue of Liberty, and I melded these two things together into one idea. Regardless of which option it was (Dad, do you remember?), I was very impressed. Ever since, I’ve really wanted to set a world record. I thought about things I could do—build the world’s largest rubber band ball, turn the most somersaults in a row, hum the most songs backwards. For years, my theory was that if I could just find something obscure enough that I’d have no competition, I could do it. But you’d be surprised at what counts as “obscure.” Everything I’ve thought of has already been done, and by someone who could do it better/longer then me.

That is, until yesterday, when I saw this story about a group of students in Wales who set the world record for having the most people dressed as Smurfs in one place—2,510 of them to be exact. Seriously, each person did nothing but paint themselves blue, put on a silly hat, and show up to some night club. [Telegraph]Now in this group’s defense, evidently the Smurf world record is a competitive one—more than five groups have attempted it in the past year and a half, and they smashed the previous world record of 1,253 Smurf-clones in one place. And while people arrived in the early evening, it took until 1am to confirm that every person was actually in Smurf costume. But still, for pretty much no effort, these people are all now world record-holders. Genius! This adds a whole new dimension to the quest for a world record. It’s not just about what you do, how long, and how well—but volume can seal the deal.

So this has me thinking—between this office and you guys out there who read The Frisky, there are an awful lot of us. So let’s set a Frisky world record. We could all gather in one place and tear up tabloid magazines at the same time. Or we could group hug while stepping in a circle. I’m open to any and all suggestions, so please post ideas in the comments section. No, really, I’m serious. I even volunteer to handle all the paperwork with the Guinness Book of World Records. (We send them a proposal, and it takes about 4-6 weeks for them to approve it—if they say go for it, we’ll make our attempt.) Stay tuned, I’ll have the details for you soon. I hope you’re all in.