Tweet Beat: Comics Twitter Funnies

Give comedians — give them 140 characters and they’ll find a joke that fits. This week in Tweet Beat, Michael Ian Black pretends he’s on “Sesame Street,” Sarah Silverman defends the emoticon, and Ellen saves a bird.Michael Ian Black:

“Dirtiest candy bar name: Butterfinger..”

“K foods that are delicious: Kashi, Klondike, Krispy Kreme. K groups that are not: KKK.”

“Was just in the bathroom with a guy who was simultaneously pissing, eating, and talking on his cellphone. That man is a genius.”

Sarah Silverman:

“You can’t shame me out of using emoticons. I will not apologize for embracing the future and all it’s technologies.”

“Harper Collins hated my idea for the name of my book: My Life In 18 Poops.”

Ellen Degeneres:

“Guess the ending: Just heard a noise coming from a light shade hanging from my tree. Thought it was a locust. I looked inside and it was a..”

“…The thing making the noise: a hummingbird! I saved it. Now if I could just free that spoon from the garbage disposal.”