Recession Proof Rendezvous: Five Free Ways To Get Laid

The recession is hitting everyone in their bank account, but there’s no reason it should slow down your man income. So, if you’re broke as a joke and can’t afford to go shellin’ out dough at bars, here are some ways you can meet new people without dropping a dime. Hey, the best things in life are free!

  1. Volunteer: If you’re looking for a generous giver in the bedroom, try a dude who already donates his time to charity work. And do your best to make it seem like you’re trying to offer the world a helping hand, not your vagina.
  2. Library: Put the worm in book worm. It’s easy to scope out the scene when you’re pretending to read. Just don’t flip through self-help or something too trashy. Try reading a mag or a newspaper because that section is usually close to the entrance. Plus, since they’re quick reads, it’ll give you plenty of chances to walk past someone sexy. Hey, at the very least, you’ll learn something!
  3. Beach: You’re already half naked if you’re wearing a swimsuit, so things are looking up for sexy time! If you’ve got a man-magnet, aka a dog, well, then this sunny locale is extra golden. Just make sure you’re not wearing headphones, because they make you unapproachable.
  4. Craigslist: Whether you’re looking for a job or just a BJ, this site is an excellent for all kinds of help wanted. And you can cruise from the comfort of your own home.
  5. Supermarket: Technically, this isn’t free, per se. But you need food and you have to buy it. So, take your sweet time combing the aisles for honey and you’ll see that the supermarket is really a meat market! Be sure to watch for wedding bands — they’re easily visible when the guys are pushing carts.