Fight Farts With Anti-Flatulence Underwear

I was trying really hard not to mock the daylights out of Under-Ease, the anti-flatulence underwear from the peeps at Under-Tec, but I failed. You gotta admit, the name does not inspire confidence. Still, the eau de fart, or more officially referred to as malodorous flatus, is a literal bummer. If you think about it, the lot of the prolific farters is a rough one. We all make fart jokes and occasionally let out a real ripper, but it must actually bite to regularly set off stink bombs at school, at work, or on a date. In theory if you wear Under-Ease, your hot date will never know you cut the cheese. Unless of course you order a cheese plate. I myself am partial to stinky goopey french cheese which my dates have found far more disgusting than a fart or two.Unfortunately nothing dampens my desire for stinky cheese and I am unconvinced that Under-Ease actually works. The technology behind this fart-trapping device sounds as complex as a NASA mission to the moon and about as far fetched as light sabers and Death Stars. Under-Ease panties are airtight with elastic around the waist and legs (so far so good), have an “exit hole” at your exit point (makes sense) which is covered by a “pocket” (hmmm), but then we get to the filter. According to Under-Tec:

This unique design forces all expelled gas (flatus) out through the “pocket” Inside the “pocket” is a high-functioning, replaceable filter – the core of the technology. This multi-layered filter is made in a sandwich-style, and begins with the two outer layers of wool felt. The second two layers are made of non-woven polypropylene and spun glass materials. In the center of the filter is a single layer of activated carbon. The filter is then covered with soft ordinary material to allow for easy replacement in or out of the pocket. The underwear are washable and will last approximately a year depending on the frequency of use and laundering. Each filter will last from several weeks to several months depending on the frequency of use and laundering.

Stumped? Me too. Besides not really wanting to know how this technology was discovered, I am not sure if the “filter” even makes sense. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t recommend this product because it is hideously ugly. Bridget Jones’ granny panties are smokin’ hot compared to these. If your lack of flatulence was intended to aid you in luring a man into bed, chances are Under-Ease will send him straight for the door. [$24.95, Under-Tec Store]