10 Things That Are Way More Awkward To Buy Than Condoms

Pharmacy checkout clerks, whether they know it or not, have a reputation for being the most judgmental people on Earth. Everyone is neurotic about what the cashier must be thinking when they slip a box of Durex condoms on the counter.

A bunch of Frisky commenters—not to mention Frisky staffers—attest that it is beyond awkward for them to purchase condoms, especially if they are locked in glass cases, which is the case in some CVS pharmacies across the country.

But I say poppycock. Salespeople get laid, too, you know! Besides, aren’t they more likely to be jealous that you are buying rubbers while they just going home tonight to masturbate alone and cry?

Seriously, buck up, friends, there are things that are way more awkward than buying condoms…

  1. Monistat: Is the cashier knowing you have sex really more awkward than the cashier knowing you have the yeastie beasties?
  2. A 16-roll pack of toilet paper: Congratulations, everyone in Walgreens now thinks you have a nasty case of diarrhea.
  3. Upper lip bleach: Hey, I think it’s cool when women own their facial hair. But if you’re buying the Nair face cream, you can be sure the cashier is imagining what you look like with a ‘stache.
  4. Metamucil fiber powder: You can’t poop. Now everyone knows. Hooray!
  5. Lice shampoo: Nothing says dodgy personal hygiene quite like a critter infestation.
  6. Man’s deodorant: You can act like your boyfriend really needs it—just remember to conceal those sopping wet pit stains of yours.
  7. Wart-Off: Someone will be washing their hands immediately after handling your money.
  8. Douche: We have no clue who actually still uses douche nowadays, since doctors say feminine washes upset the pH balance of our ladyparts. But somebody must be buying the stuff, because Summer’s Eve is still very much in business.
  9. K-Y’s Warming Jelly Personal Lubricant: Regular lubricant = not so embarrassing. K-Y Jelly that heats up = your fussy vagina is awfully high maintenance.
  10. The morning-after pill: Nothing says “I was too embarrassed to buy condoms from your pharmacy in the first place” quite like a Plan B prescription.