Since “The Fashion Show” Sucks, Play The “Project Runway Game” Instead

I can’t possibly force myself to sit through another episode of “The Fashion Show.” I cannot take another hour of Kelly Rowland contorting her face into bizarre sneers. If I hear Isaac Mizrahi say “bye bye, darling,” one more time, I will snap. Because I value my sanity, or whatever is left of it since the show began, I am not going to watch “The Fashion Show”. I confess, I say this every week and then cave, but this week is going to be different. Last week I had the foresight to ask some friends to watch the show with me. After only five minutes, my friend staged an intervention and turned the show off. Good. So how will I spend my Thursday nights now? Instead of wallowing in my grief over the lack of Tim Gunn in my life, at 10:00pm tonight I am going to play”The Project Runway Game.” What You Need To Begin:

  • Friends: Anywhere from five to 15 friends.
  • A pile of stuff that can get messy/trashed: I broke out my childhood dress up trunk, towels, sheets, plastic bags, old blankets, makeup it’s safe to share, cheapo combs and the like. Some of the crazier challenges will end up trashing the original material. You will be much happier knowing that your clothes are safe and your friends won’t feel they have to hold back their creative vision out of politeness.
  • A Runway: By this I mean a hallway with a few chairs
  • Wine: Well, that’s not exactly necessary. But you never know when you might want to tie-dye those sheets in a pinot noir, now do you?

How To Play:

  1. Pick Roles: Are you Heidi, Tim, Nina Garcia, Micheal Kors, or a designer? You’ll also need models and hair/makeup artists. You can randomly assign roles, pick names out a hat or even arm wrestle. As long as you all have characters, we can continue.
  2. “Heidi” and “Tim” announce the challenge: “Heidi” and “Tim” sneak off into a corner and create the most off-the-wall challenge their pretty heads can think of. Really, the sky is the limit. The more unexpected and unusual the challenge, the more fun the contestants will have “designing.” Crazy challenges lead to crazy outfits. Crazy outfits lead to crazy-bitchy judging. Fabulous all around.
  3. Contestants have 20 minutes to design the look and the makeup/hair get 15 minutes for beautification: If you have seen the show you know the drill. Feel free to throw out words like “fierce” and phrases like “whatever happened to Andre?” Tim/Kelly/Isaac should wander around and offer “helpful” critique. But really, this part is where your friends creativity and inner drama queen gets to shine. As long as you have “Heidi” watching the clock, you are good.
  4. Runway Show: It’s time to stru your stuff. Your shyer friends can stick to the classic walk and pout, but I strongly encourage the “Zoolander” walk-off style. The only rule that matters: don’t break the furniture.
  5. Judging: This is where all hell breaks loose. Just try not to get too catty and remember that this is a game, not a time to air pent up grievances. “Heidi” should just keep things moving along and decide when it’s time for the judges to deliberate.
  6. The winner is declared and the loser…: Congrats to the winner! You get…a paper towel? The point is that you can have real gifts, gag gifts or just the knowledge that your rubber-glove ball gown was the hands-down winner. The loser can take a shot, do a naked run, or be called “Kelly Rowland” for the next round.
  7. Repeat: This game only ends when the laughs do. With the right crowd, or enough wine with any crowd, you could go for hours. When all the fun has been had you can get cozy in bed and watch “Project Runway” reruns on YouTube.