Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Jen And Brad Getting It On? Robert Issues An Ultimatum To Kristen?

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra true stories from each.

  • Star Magazine has proof that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are having a secret love affair. As in, Jen’s driver has blown their cover. Supposedly, the ex-couple spent two hours at the Gramercy Park Hotel in New York City, trying their hardest not to get caught. Rumors are swirling that the two have been texting (perhaps, sexting?). Oh, and the driver took them for a spin around Manhattan in late April while they sipped Starbucks and chatted. Wait…this happened over a month ago and we’re just finding out? If you’re gonna spill the beans, do it quickly, dude. [StarMagazine]

  • Us Weekly just won’t get over Jon and Kate. Their cover story — the sixth in an effing row — is about how Jon ditched wifey on her 34th birthday to party with his mistress in Park City, Utah. Kate celebrated with the little ones with a trip to the “Ace of Cakes” kitchen, while Jon and Deanna Hummel got drunk and allegedly “reeked of pot.” This is such a dead horse. (See: the sucky ratings from last night’s “Jon and Kate Plus 8.”) Quit beating it. [UsMagazine]

  • According to OK! Magazine, Robert Pattinson has issued an ultimatum to Kristen Stewart to choose between him and her boyfriend. They say Rob is frustrated and has moved to New York to…fight for his leading lady? Yeah, like he won’t get the girl in the end. [OK!Magazine]

  • Looks like Hef’s ex “Girl Next Door” Kendra Wilkinson is preggers with NFL star Hank Baskett’s baby. They’ve been engaged since November and plan on getting married on the 27th of June at Hugh’s mansion in Holmby Hills. Hollywood keeps messing up that “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage” thing! And doesn’t a wedding at the ex’s mansion sound awkward to you? [People]