Miracle Birth Control Gum

Ali Jawin | June 10, 2009 - 6:45 pm

If you thought the blond Orbitz girl cornered the market on bizarre gum marketing, you clearly have not stumbled across the wonderful absurdity that is Miracle Birth Control Gum. I suppose it was only really a matter of time until someone figured out a way to sweeten breath while simultaneously preventing pregnancy. Though the product is specifically targeted for single gals in their 30’s, I doubt a married woman in her 50’s would suffer from any serious medical side effects. The label warns that weight gain may occur after chewing, but chewing burns calories, right? Problem solved. I won’t bother guessing about the potential dire consequences if a dude were to pop one of these mint flavored tablets between his smackers. If a guy is worrying about birth control, he has bigger problems. About eight pounds bigger.
I pray to anyone who will listen that you know this is a joke. Right? Just making sure.

This gum won’t stop you from producing a baby, but it will most certainly produce a laugh. For $1.25 it’s not even that much more expensive then your boringly packaged trident. [$1.25, BlueQ.com]