Cell Phone Elbow, And Four Other New-Fangled Ailments That Could Get You A Day Off Work

Last week, doctors discovered a debilitating ailment—Cell Phone Elbow. This injury rears its ugly head when your ulnar nerve, on the inside of your elbow, gets compressed, which happens if you bend your arm too much, either by holding a cell phone to your ear or leaning on your arm while typing at work. Sure, it may be apt punishment for people who yack on their phones allll day long. But it can be super painful, and even make typing or writing difficult. [CBS]

This got me thinking—you know those days when you just don’t feel like going to work because your bed is warm, it’s raining outside, the boyfriend is over, etc? “I have Cell Phone Elbow,” would sound so much better than my stale go-to excuse, “I have food poisoning.” Here are four other tech-related excuses that’ll come in just as handy.“I have BlackBerry Thumb.” Being a constant BlackBerry twiddler comes at a cost—overusing small keypads can cause painful swelling of the sheath around the tendons in the thumb. This condition, also known as texting thumb, is such a problem that Virgin Mobile launched a website called PracticeSafeText.com. So for all you people who respond to emails on your phone all day, stop it right now. It’s annoying, and bad for you. Just tell your boss you got this from responding to important, work-related emails when you’re out of the office.

“My doctor says I need a day off because of my Computer Vision Syndrome.” If you work in front of a computer, this excuse is your savior. The glare from your comp can cause eye strain, headaches, blurred or weak vision, neck aches, fatigue, irritated eyes and light sensitivity. All those long hours are effing up your eyes, of course you can’t work today. [Catherine’s eye has been twitching for a month straight. She could totes use this to get a day off. — Editor] [PennHealth]

“I need to get this Guitar Hero Wrist checked out.” Also known as wrist tendonitis, peeps get this from jamming on a guitar for hours on end. Some of those hard-to-reach notes can mess up the tendons in your arm, hand and wrist. (Insert masturbation joke here.) This leads to swelling which can cause decreased mobility, numbness, and pain. Try this one on your boss only if you (or he or she) is a musician. [Associated Content]

“I have a nasty case of iPod Ear.” My father is partially deaf from going to too many concerts in the ’60s. I am partially deaf from listening to my iPod at full blast. Who is cooler? Yeah, I know. Neurologist James McCauley said hearing loss is increasing in young folks thanks to MP3 players. James recommends the 60/60 rule—listen to that iPod at less than 60 percent max volume for less than 60 minutes per day. I recommend milking the damage for all it’s worth. [ParentDish.com]