In the last month or so, three of my close friends have gotten engaged. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a serious relationship for three years. For some reason, whenever I tell people that another one of my pals has a ring on her finger, they get a sad, sympathetic look on their face, like they’re afraid I might start crying or go into a deep depression. They shouldn’t be concerned, though, because I’m not the least bit jealous.It’s not because I’m against marriage or men or love that I don’t care that my friends are engaged and I’m not. In fact, I couldn’t be happier that things have worked out for them. I’m close with all of their fiances, and the couples have been together so long that it was only a matter of time before they tied the knot.
In all three cases, my friends had always said they would get married “someday” and talked about it amorphously. They might have moved in with their boyfriends and gotten a dog together, but they never felt they’d get engaged any time soon. It never seemed to be a priority for them, something they needed to check off their to-do list in order to be happy. They were just going about their lives until one day, things fell into place.
And that’s the way it is with me, why I’m unbothered and completely psyched about their upcoming weddings, where I will whoop it up — possibly alone, but maybe not. My friends have set a good example about love and life. When you focus too much on what you don’t have, whether it’s a diamond ring, a boyfriend, or a Barbie Dream House, you don’t get to enjoy the other stuff you have, like a cute apartment, an interesting job, and friends who don’t judge you when you drink way too much bubbly at their engagement party. So, if things fall into place for me at some point, great! But if not, I won’t feel like a failure. My friends think a promotion at work or a new crush is just-as-big news, and they ooh and ahh appropriately.