Carl’s Jr. Recruits Audrina Patridge For Burger Ad

Hungry? Audrina Patridge of “The Hills” must be, cause that girl is skinnnnnny. And you know what people whose fame depends on them being thin do when they get hungry? They go to Carl’s Jr. for a Teriyaki Six Dollar Burger! Wait, that can’t be right…I heard they ate Styrofoam and pretended cigarettes were an all-you-can-eat buffet of smoke? Either way, Audrina donned a tiny gold bikini in Malibu for the latest Carl’s Jr. ad. She was psyched. “I had an absolute blast shooting,” she told People. “When I pulled up, I was literally salivating looking at all the rows and rows of perfect burgers waiting for me!” You’d be salivating too if you hadn’t eaten since high school.

It’s impressive that toothpick Carl’s Jr.’s spokeswomen even know how to hold burgers. Maybe someone demonstrates first? And why do they always have to be sexily eating a burger? I mean, Padma Lakshmi sitting on a curb, licking up barbecue sauce that fell on her foot? Paris Hilton washing a car? I’m not sure which is weirder, the idea that she washes her own car or that she can stop talking long enough to pack a 660 calorie burger into her mouth. Why can’t they show a chubby girl spilling ketchup on her boobs? Cause I think that’s hot. I volunteer myself, cause instead of taking a bite and spitting it out, I’d woman-up, eat those rows of burgers and then request a milkshake. Hey Carl, call me!