Hate F**king Does Not Equal Rape

On yesterday’s episode of “The View,” Elisabeth Hasselbeck responded to the Playboy.com article written by Guy Cimbalo that listed her as one of the conservative women he’d like to “hate f**k.” I don’t blame her for being offended — I would pitch a fit if, say, Rush Limbaugh said he wanted to hate f**k me — but her annoyance that the National Organization for Women didn’t immediately respond (in fact, they didn’t know) is misplaced. After all, they have bigger fish to fry right now, like the murder of doctors like Dr. George Tiller.
However, NOW did eventually release a statement that said the Playboy article encourages violence against women. And then “The View”‘s Sherri Shephard went on to equate “hate f**k” with rape. This bugs me. Where I come from, hate f**king is not the same as raping someone. In every instance that I’ve used it or someone I know has used it, it has been in reference to having consensual sex with someone you just cannot stand, but you want to f**k for fun anyway, and that the animosity between you actually makes the sex hot in a way that’s different from sex with someone you love or like. You may want to call them horrible names afterwards, or never see them again, but hate f**king, in any definition I’ve experienced, has never been about sexual assault. In fact, I have a friend who hate f**ked an ex recently and had a grand ol’ time.

Of course, Hasselbeck doesn’t want to hate f**k Cimbalo, so if he actually followed through on his stupid little list, then I suppose it would be rape, but for the love of god, it is a LIST not a PLAN. It’s an offensive, gross, icky list, sure, and the sex he’s describing is hugely disrespectful and misogynistic, but it’s not rape.