When it came to my dating life, I wasn’t sure I should listen to Patti Stanger, host of Bravo’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker” and author of the book Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate. Could someone hoisting a gold, ruby-encrusted Cupid’s arrow on her book cover, whose ample bosom was jammed into a white Liberace pantsuit, help me, an outdoorsy New Yorker with an A cup seeking a sweet, humble, non-cologne wearing guy with no roommates?
I was doubtful. But as an early thirties lady swinging and missing on the New York dating scene, I figured, “What have you got to lose, Singles McGonigle?” See if she’s got some news you can use. So I did. The first thing she suggests is a 30–90 day “dating detox” of attitude adjustment, positive thoughts, demon tackling and absolutely no dates (I was way ahead of the game at 53 days and counting). During this phase, Patti recommends getting lost in a favorite book, a long hot bath, listening to happy music, taking a class, cleaning house and petting something furry. All which caused me to think, “Seriously, Pats? Reading and scratching a dog’s back are gonna make me more dateable?”
Her point is that when you stop pining for an imaginary “him” and start focusing on you, you’ll automatically be happier and more ready to meet someone; you’ll be in a place of confidence, not neediness. So, I suspended my jaded New Yorker disbelief and dove into her “quick, happy fixes.” I purged my belongings, divesting myself of frayed, Easter egg pink handbags purchased in Chinatown for $10, a Garth Brooks CD and some unfortunate pants that earned me the nickname “Shoehorn” (as in, I needed one to get in them). I meditated, soaked in bubbles and rubbed the head of a French bulldog named Zooey. I even erased texts from my last relationship false start, the ones that said “How are you my dear?” and “I enjoyed speaking with you today, Scorpio Sarah.”
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