Everyone’s Talking About Dick These Days

Rumor has it, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s current Brazilian boy toy, is rocking an uncut member, Shia LaBeouf confessed to Playboy that he isn’t well-endowed, and Jared Leto reportedly has the biggest (living) dong in Hollywood. After the jump, celebs dish on the packages they were given or were happy/unhappy to receive.

“I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.” – Shia LaBeouf in Playboy

“I said I had a small penis as a joke. And they took it literally when it is not the truth. So when people find out it’s not the case they are pleasantly surprised.” – Enrique Iglesias

“I’m proud to see his penis 25 foot tall. It’s great. It’s huge. It’s enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I’d walk down the street in my panties too.”– Victoria Beckham on David Beckham‘s penis

“I had a penis implant!” – Robert Pattinson on his nude scenes for “Little Ashes”

“I know the reason that it was cut out was that it just wasn’t right. If anything, it’s a beautiful, gentle moment and a f**king large c**k with huge balls, is just f**king jarring.” – Colin Farrell on why his nude scene was cut out of “Alexander”

“I love Ewan McGregor. He’s got a beautiful penis! I’m like: ‘Yeah, man, uncircumcised!’ That’s nice.” – Rosario Dawson

“”I’m not worried about how small my penis is — I’m worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks.” – John Mayer

“I’m not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don’t find anything attractive about it. I can’t believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit.” – Pete Wentz

“He’s not very well-endowed. If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.” – Kim Mathers on her ex, Eminem

“I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” – Corina Taylor on having sex with Jared Leto

“I helped raise him and I can assure you there is nothing wrong with him physically.” – Sadie Bomar on grandson Justin TImberlake‘s penis after Britney Spears insinuated he had a small member.

“It looks like an egg in a nest. This girl once said to me, ‘Who are you going to satisfy with that little thing?’ I said, ‘Me!’” – Johnny Knoxville

“Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though.” – Jessica Simpson on her ex-husband, Nick Lachey

“You tighten up like a hamster. The first time it happened, I turned around and went, ‘You know, there’s a thousand people here and I don’t think even one of them would expect you to look your best in this situation.’ I am terribly self-conscious.” – Daniel Radcliffe on appearing nude onstage

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