12 Bad Things We’d Rather Hear Than “We’re Just Friends”

Sex sells and Madonna’s made 500 million bucks at it. But even M, one of the most lusted after women in the world and is the author of a porn tome simply called Sex, can get the brush off by a boy toy. In a recent interview, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s supposed future husband, said, “She is my friend, just a friend.” As if! Haven’t we all heard the “just friends” line once or twice? There’s plenty of bad news we’d rather hear from a guy that’s seen us naked than that kinda of buddy line. A bunch of not-so-hot things we’d rather hear from guy, after the jump…

  1. “My mom’s coming to stay with us for two weeks.”
  2. “Have you ever tried, uh, douching?”
  3. “I think I’m going bald.”
  4. “I need one of your kidneys to live.”
  5. “You got fat.”
  6. “I think I’m gay.”
  7. “I screwed your sister.”
  8. “I can only get off if I’m covered in saran wrap, sniffing your old sneakers.”
  9. “Can you bail me out of jail?”
  10. “You’re not into anal? That’s a dealbreaker.”
  11. “I can’t get an erection on my meds.”
  12. “Did you get a haircut?”