Keepin’ It Classy: Making Plans With Friends

This week in “Keepin’ It Classy,” I received a letter from a lady who is trying to get back out onto the dating scene, but she’s confused about current social mores:

“I’m recently single and although I’m not quite yet ready to mingle, I do want to go out with my old girlfriends. Now that I have so much free time, I thought that it would make my social life easier, but it totally hasn’t. I’m so used to just hanging out at home with my man or making couple plans, that I don’t know what the protocol for an average date with the girls is. When did I get this lame? If I want to make plans day of, can I text two friends at the same time to see what they’re doing? Or do I have to wait for one to respond first? Making plans to hang out with friends is even tougher than dating!”

Breakin’ up is hard to do, so start with baby steps. The rules for dating don’t apply to friends— even if they’re friends with benefits. They’re your pals, no pretense necessary. Double-booking dates is rude, but you can text two or more buddies to hang. See who gets back to you. A few things to be wary of, though:

  1. Holla Back Girl: Get back to everyone who gets back to you. Even if their plans are lame, thank them for the offer and suggest another time or way you can party.
  2. Mass Appeal: Don’t send out a mass text: “Anyone want to play?” Make your friends feel special by asking them to spend time. Desperate mailings fall on deaf ears.
  3. Two Timer: You have to make a choice — call, email, text? Do not do two or more back-to-back. You will look crazy … not to mention lame.
  4. The More, The Merrier: What if more than one person wants to hang out? You can invite both along, but sometimes it’s hard to mix company. If they don’t already know each other, be careful what you organize. Also, make sure they’re aware of who’s on the guest list.
  5. Too Much Of A Good Thing: If a pal says they don’t have plans and they want to chill, but you already made plans and they can’t join, you’ll feel a bit guilty. But you’retmaking last minute arrangements, so no biggie. The short time period is on your side. Be honest. Tell them your commitments have changed, and you would love to see them some other time. Don’t ignore them because you’re feeling guilty. That’s the only behavior that would warrant an apology.