Coming Soon To A Theater Near You: OctoMom The Musical

First came “Coctomom,” the porno inspired by Nadya Suleman. Now Nadya’s going to be immortalized in a musical. That’s right, OctoMom the Musical” is in the works. And it’s gonna be quite a production. People in the first two rows of will get soaked during the delivery scene, and babies will fly over the audience. After the jump, the reasons this musical is pregnant with failure.

  • It’s being directed by a nobody. Character actor Christian Voltaire hasn’t done much. Well, he did stage a protest at Paris Hilton’s book signing a few years ago, and he’s had bit roles on “Nash Bridges” and “Dollhouse.” [MSNBC] — Maybe a guy who plays low-lifes, thugs, and dealers on TV is perfect to direct this.
  • The story will confuse the heck out of you. OctoMom is a mess and her life is mind-spinning, but this show won’t solely focus on Nadya and her spawn. It’ll interweave her story with a plot about a crooked financier named Bernie Schmadoff and an economy on the downfall. [LATimes]
  • There’s poledancing. We don’t know who’s playing OctoMom, but Voltaire said he wants an Angelina Jolie lookalike who’s a good pole dancer. [WeirdNews] — What I’ve always wanted to see: a mother of 14 taking it all off. Not.