I Hate You, Ann Curry

I can’t help it. I loathe Ann Curry. I know she’s supposed to be the cute, cuddly – but still serious! – one on “The Today Show,” but homegirl makes me want to punch something. For starters, she’s a gusher. She fawns over her celebrity interview subjects like she’s on the verge of orgasming from inhaling their talented, sexy, beautiful scent. She glows and raves about their various accomplishments – “So philanthropic!” “You’ve done so much for starving children!” “Your 30 second cameo in this film is cinematic genius!” — and never asks tough questions. She giggles like a school girl who’s seen a boy’s pee-pee for the first time. Oh, and that laugh. That laugh makes me stabby. Most of all, she makes me uncomfortable. Not much makes me feel iffy and weird, but watching Ann Curry interview everyone from Brad Pitt to the Dalai Lama is near the top of my list of “Most Awkward Moments Ever,” right after the time I walked in on my parents having sex. Ann Curry makes her guests feel awkward, too. Case in point: This morning she interviewed Brad Pitt at Cannes about his new movie, “Inglorious Bastards,” and the bitch straight up touched the Sexiest Man Alive’s face. And then she had the nerve to giggle about how she made him blush! STFU, Ann Curry. No one makes Brad Pitt blush. And keep your hands to yourself.