Keepin’ It Classy: Can I Back Out On Being A Bridesmaid?

This week, I received a letter from a woman who’s having commitment issues about her friend’s wedding. Here’s what she has to say about her cold feet:

“I met up with my old college roommate to celebrate her engagement. Although I hadn’t seen her in years, when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I totally said yes. Clearly, I was drunk. The worst part is, now I’m remembering what a control freak she is. I’ve pretended to give a hoot at countless dress fittings and didn’t even complain that the dresses she picked for us were hid and $500. But now she wants her bachelorette party to be a week long vacay in Vegas. I’m not made of moolah, or time off from work. I know this is like the most special day of her life. But it’s not mine and I want out! Can I quit? She’s already driving me crazy and her wedding isn’t til October. I do still want to be her friend, just once her bridezilla days are over.”

I’m sorry to say that you’re stuck, lady. Even if you don’t want to be her friend, I would advise to go through with it. If you back out now, you’ll never be trusted to be a bridesmaid again. While that may sound like music to your ears, you don’t want your pals to perceive you as unreliable or insensitive.

Wedding days are an expensive part of the life cycle, and the cost isn’t solely monetary. Some brides take themselves and the whole ordeal too seriously! From gals who can’t choose to those who are too choosy, there’s always a lot of wear and tear on the bridesmaids. But a true lady handles every situation with grace. So, don’t react to her outburst. Simply look at her, be calm and composed, and subtly state the obvious: Compared to cool me, you’re acting like a nut bag!

As for the bachelorette party trip, here’s where you can put her friendship to the test. Call her and be frank about your financial and work situations, without going into too much detail. Tell her you’re not able to take the time off, but that shouldn’t stop her from having the fiesta of her dreams. So, no hard feelings, you wanted to let her know that you can’t go. Make sure you don’t lay it on so thick that she changes her whole plan!