Are There No Mature Men In Our Age Bracket?

In a Times interview with Chloë Sevigny, the 34-year-old actress dished about her love life. While she’s dated musicians in the past, she said she wants to have kids before she’s 40, and the guys her age and in her social circles aren’t cutting it:

“I don’t know where to find a successful guy. Maybe branching out into different circles? Art parties? The boys from my generation are less driven than the women. I meet great women all the time. We all go out and say, “There are so many beautiful varieties of women here. Where are the men that deserve them?”

I’m a little younger than Chloë, but I’ve encountered the same issues in the last year or so. While I’m not trying to find someone who wants to have kids with me right this instant, I would like to find someone who has their life together. I’m in my mid-20s, and for some reason every man I go out with thinks he’s going to become a famous musician or screenwriter. I’m all for people having dreams, but these guys seem to have their heads in the clouds when it comes to practicality, and they don’t even work in the fields in which they think they’re going to become stars. They seem to be waiting around, hoping for a miracle to happen, instead of taking steps that will get them to their goal. Meanwhile, the women I know are working their asses off, trying to get promoted at their jobs. When a 31-year-old man believes he is going to become the next Wes Anderson by working on a script in his spare time and having friends film on the weekends, it seems a bit absurd.

One of the reasons men might seem less driven than women in their 20s and 30s is that, as we’ve learned, men seem to be more willing to take risks than we are. So, while we think the “band” that he and his friends play in seems like a nice hobby, maybe he really believes they’re going to be the next big thing. Trying to make a go at playing music professionally is a risk he’s willing to take, even though a huge stroke of luck would be required for him to be discovered. We, on the other hand, prefer more normal paths to success that rely, for the most part, on keeping our noses to the grindstone. We don’t like to leave things to chance.

Do men become more realistic, or “driven,” as time goes by? Chloë and I will have to wait and see.