Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too! Now, let’s get this party started.
This week, I got a letter from a lady who’s feeling self-conscious about the scent of a woman. She wrote:
“I just started dating this guy and he’s cool, and smart, and dead sexy. But he told me that my vajayjay smells. Is that a diss or what?! I mean, he was drunk and he hasn’t dumped me, but he never goes down on me. I’ve tried douching, but he’s still not going down on me. And now I’m too nervous to say anything about it. What should I do?”
First of all, you should dump the douche bags — your boyfriend and whatever you picked up at the drug store. I give sex, not relationship, advice but, in this case, the two are linked. Honestly, smell plays a huge role in attraction. Every woman’s vagina has a scent. Assuming you don’t have an STD or an infection (both of which can smell in a very noticeable way), that scent is completely natural. It’s a way for a man to sniff you out. So, if he’s not into yours, his feelings for you are icy at best. The only thing that stinks in this relationship is him.
As for that funk, there’s only one way to handle it. It’s not a fancy floral liquid for your ladybits because strangely that stuff actually does damage while “cleaning out” your cubbyhole. You see, douche creates more bacteria in your babymaker. Basically, it’s like trying to Febreeze your workout clothes. Sure, it smells better when you spray it, but the clothing is dirty and soon that underlying stank will catch up with you tenfold.
You have one option and that’s plain old soap and water. The water shouldn’t be too hot. As for the soap, perfume free is key. You don’t have to go shoving the soap up where the sun don’t shine. Lather up the outside front to back. Washing will take care of your business.
Now, there are a couple other things you can do to minimize the stench in your sweet spot:
- Wear cotton underpants. White is best since it’s dye-free and dudes dig ‘em.
- Don’t wear pantyhose, thongs, leggings, or other garments that ride your crotch like a pony.
- Use tampons instead of pads.
- Eat fruits and vegetables. It helps your diet stay balanced, and your vagina smell as well.
- Don’t scratch that itch.