Kristin Cavallari Heads For “The Hills”: Where’s She Been For The Past Five Years?

Kristin Cavallari is back! This morning, we learned that the “Laguna Beach” mean girl will be replacing Lauren Conrad as the star of “The Hills.” Dang, we knew her media disappearance over the past few years was too good to be true. The 22-year-old will show up on the May 31st season finale of “The Hills” where she’ll catch the bouquet at Heidi and Spencer’s wedding. Geez, I’d rather catch a live grenade.Obviously, Kristin is psyched about her return to MTV. “The goal for me is to get my fans excited about me again. When I first started out, I had a celebrity name but I didn’t have the acting skills I have now,” she says. Good, because acting skills are required for a reality show.

Kristin swears she’ll bring a different vibe for the show. “I’m a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I’m more outgoing. I’m a little more spontaneous,” she says. Of course she had to take a hit at L-Rad. If you can remember way back to the “Laguna Beach” days, you might recall that Kristin and Lauren feuded over the once-hot-but-now-puffy Stephen Colletti. And Kristin dated Brody Jenner for two years before him and Lauren got together. Awk-waaard!

So, we’re wondering, where the hell has Kristin been all these years?

  1. Dorm Daze: After “Laguna Beach,” Kristin enrolled at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. Go figure, she dropped out to pursue acting.
  2. Party Girl: Kristin landed the lead with Ethan Erickson in the UPN show, “Get This Party Started,” a reality show where the hosts worked with professional party planners to throw parties for “deserving people at significant points in their lives.” The show was promptly canceled after two episodes. It sounds like a winner, so why didn’t it work out? Maybe it’s because…who the heck are these people?
  3. Girls on Film: After the failed series, Cavallari guest starred on “Veronica Mars” and “Adventures in Hollyhood.” She also landed a couple lead roles in music videos for Teddy Geiger and Gavin Degraw, and got roles in films like “Green Flash,” “Fingerprints,” and “Spring Breakdown,” “Wild Cherry,” “Spring Breakdown,” and “Van Wilder: Freshman Year.” What’s that? You’ve never heard of any of these movies? Yeah, us either.
  4. Lover Girl: Since high school, Cavallari has also been linked to Nick Lachey, actor Nick Zano, and athletes Mike Comrie and Matt Leinart. But there is zero doubt in our mind that, for the sake of good television, Kristin will set her hooks in one of Lauren’s exes. Our money’s on Jason.