The Curse of the American (Idol) Male

We were bummed last week when Ali Iraheta got the chop after what seemed like a flawless, if somewhat copycat, rendition of Janis Joplin’s “Cry Baby.” The top three is now a total sausage-fest—only Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, and Danny Gokey remain. If these dudes are smart, they should be scheming up ways to get eliminated this week. “Idol” history proves that no dude in the top two ever goes on to good. Check out the bad luck that’s befallen the top male Idols.

“American Idol” Guys Have It Rough
P.S. You’re Fired. Froed-out, season 1 runner up Justin Guarini ruined his chances of being taken seriously when he signed on to to appear in the “From Justin to Kelly.” He was dropped by RCA after his album sold 134,000 copies in the same amount of time that co-star and Season 1 winner Kelly Clarkson sold 1.7 million. Most embarrassing? He found out about being dropped by reading a trade magazine. [MTV]
Tax Evader. We all know that fame has a price. For season 2 winner Ruben Studdard, that price was $200,000 in back taxes that he owed after winning “American Idol” in 2003. If our math is correct, he’s not selling close to enough albums to cover the bill. [Contact Music]
On His Way Out. After coming out of the closet, becoming a father, and sporting some really bad hair, season 2 runner up, Clay Aiken, parted ways with Idol’s record label, RCA. His 2008 album “On My Way Here” sold 159,000 copies, compared to the 2003 release “Measure of a Man,” which sold 2.78 million copies. Ouch. [Reuters]
Camp Counselor. So what kinds of gigs are waiting after “Idol” glory? Camp counselor! Bo Bice, the season 4 runner up, will be hanging out and jammin’ with campers at CMT Camp Nashville this summer. In case you can’t attend this country music fantasy camp, you can catch his gig this summer at Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, CT. [Bo Bice]
Beat Box Bust. Beat boxer Blake Lewis, season 6’s runner up, parted ways with Arista Records after seven months. He set the “Idol” record for the shortest record deal ever! But the beat goes on for Blake—he’s planning to release his own record soon. [TV Guide] — Best of luck, dude.
Silver Fox Teen Angel. Taylor Hicks is going on the road, but not with his band. This season 5 winner is on the national tour of “Grease,” where he makes a cameo as the Teen Angel. [Variety] — He’s pretty much a music industry drop out.
Totally Tragic. This is sad. Last week, season 7 Idol winner David Cook lost his brother to a 10-year battle with brain cancer. [E! Online] — Our condolences to the Cook family.
Disney Dud. Get the kid some mouse ears because season 7 runner up David Archuleta is joining the wonderful world of Disney. His latest claim to fame? Appearing on an episode of “Hannah Montana” and touring with Demi Lovato. [TV Guide] — David, you’ve totally lost any shred of street cred you ever had.