Hardy Har Har: Barack Obama’s Best Jokes From The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

On Saturday, Barack Obama hosted the White House Correspondents Association Dinner. The annual gathering of politicos, journalists, and celebrities has evolved into a famous person prom. What do Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have to do with corresponding with the White House? We don’t know. The event has become a presidential comedy show, and last night our Jokester-in-Chief spared no one—from his kids to pirates. [USA Today] — After the jump, his best zingers. On Michelle Obama:

“Hasn’t she been an outstanding first lady? She’s even begun to bridge the differences that have divided us for so long. No matter which party you belong to, we can all agree Michelle has the right to bare arms.”

On his daughters:

“Sasha and Malia aren’t here tonight because they’re grounded. You can’t just take Air Force One on a joy ride over Manhattan.”

On his time in office thus far:

“I would like to welcome you all to the 10 day anniversary of my first 100 days…In the next 100 days, we will design, build, and open a library dedicated to my first 100 days…In the next 100 days, I will be so successful, I will be able to complete them in 72 days. And on the 73rd day, I will rest.”

On the Grand Old Party:

“For the last time, the Republican party does not qualify for a bailout. Rush Limbaugh does not count as a troubled asset…Dick Cheney was supposed to be here, but he is very busy working on his memoirs, tentatively titled How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People.”

On Secretary of State Hillary Clinton:

“We had been rivals during the campaign, but these days we could not be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico, she pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss and told me I should get down there myself.”

On Vice Prez Joe Biden:

“I’ve cut the tension by bringing a new friend to the White House. He’s warm, he’s cuddly, loyal, enthusiastic. You just have to keep him on a tight leash. Every once in a while, he goes charging off in the wrong direction and gets himself into trouble. But enough about Biden.”

Watch the full speech below: