Doin’ It With Dr. V: Hose Down A Dry Spell

Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too! Now, let’s get this party started…

Dry spells happen, even to pandas. Lately, the panda population hasn’t been feelin’ sexy. They haven’t been eating well, and they don’t seem to have the energy to make sweet panda love. Sound familiar? Like a bad breakup or a natural disaster, a lot of things can lower your libido. Here’s what the experts have learned about how you can start humpin’ again.

  1. Secret Society: The first rule about the dry spell club is there is no talking about the dry spell club. Simply calling it a dry spell in your own mind makes things worse for you. You have a term for a phase and you get stuck in it. Worst yet, complaining that you can’t get laid to others will make your whole situation even more pathetic. But nothing kills a boner quite like whining, particularly when how it’s about how unsexy your sex life is.
  2. Lead Them By Their Nose: Ever notice how you get hit on more once you are seeing someone? Men can literally sniff you out. When you’re turned on your body sends out smelly hormone signals. So, if you not currently getting some, you’ve got to masturbate, fantasize, dress sexy, and generally strut and shake what yo momma gave you to continue to send out those same pheromones.
  3. A Real 10: Computer simulations of dating situations have shown it takes 10 dates before a person can tell what they want and can get. First dates can be rough, it’s true, not to mention your first one out the gate can be extra awkward, but you need to give yourself a chance to be single and mingle. Now honestly, did we really need robot to tell us all that?
  4. Numbers Game “The Today Show” conducted a poll with about women and dry spells and their findings will probs make you feel like a man eater. Here’s what their results revealed:
    • 24% had been celibate for a few years
    • 22% hadn’t gotten any for around a year
    • 30% had gone a few months sans sex
    • 13% could only last a few weeks
    • 11% can’t go more than a handful of days

    There, do you feel better?

  5. Risky Business: According to surveys, a dry spell isn’t just bad for your crotch. When your hormone levels drop, you get caught in a downward spiral of self-loathing and anxiety. Plus, according to the journal Biological Psychology, going without sex can up your blood pressure. So, you’ve got nothing to lose, but your health!