Doin’ It With Dr. V: Masturbation Myths
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…
May is National Masturbation Month! The annual tradition began as a show of support for former Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, who was fired from her job when she suggested that teens be taught self-love as a safe sex option. That seems like a bright idea, but we live in dark times, and a lot of people out there aren’t in touch with themselves. So, lets bust some myths about sexy time with yourself.
- You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling: Using a vibrator or dildo cannot desensitize your lady bits. Actually, using a vibe can help a woman discover her pleasure centers, increase feeling, and result in more frequent orgasms while she’s doin’ it with someone else. Sure, if you hump buzzing batteries all night, you might feel a little numb, but it’s a temporary thing. A real penis, hand, or tongue will still be able to make the magic in your promised land happen. Feel free to give and get off on good vibes. [Go Ask Alice!]
- Purely Coincidence: You’re still a virgin if all you’ve done is yourself. Any phallus can bust a hymen, but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your virginity. I broke my hymen when I was a kid doing splits on the playground. For the record, you can get off by rubbing your clitoris. That’s how roughly 80 percent of women achieve an orgasm.
- Love Is Blind: You can’t go blind or grow hair on your palms. If that were true, I’d be an ape wearing glasses. Instead, I’ve got 20/20 vision, and the most ladylike hands you’ve ever seen.
- Puttin’ the Ass in Embarrass: “Not everybody does it, but everybody should.” I’m quoting George Michael. Most people have masturbated at least once in their life. The rest would but they can’t reach their junk.
- Go at It Alone — or with an Audience: Masturbation can be a spectator sport. Look at the Masturbate-a-Thon tlats weekend. While you might not want a gazillion people watching you, showing a lover how you do what you do when you do yourself can be sexy and instructional. Don’t be shy, put on a show!