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How To Get Plastic Surgery — For Free!

We’re still reeling from the news that the Miss California Organization paid for contestant Carrie Prejean to get fake ta-tas so she’d have a better chance of winning Miss USA. Tasteless? Yes. Uncommon? Unfortunately, no. We nosed around for other ways to “better” your body without breaking the bank.

  • In 2006 the Cannes International Film Festival offered celebs like Cate Blanchett $5,000 worth of plastic surgery as part of a “gift bag.” [Plasmetic] — I’m sure if Blanchett was on the fence about going under the knife, that extra $5,000 really factored into her decision. Not. C’mon guys — a celeb that makes millions a year doesn’t care about your five grand. Give it to me instead.
  • A site called MyFreeImplants.com pairs desparate, plastic surgery-seeking women up with equally desperate, horny men. The site claims these women just have to “interact” with their “benefactors” by chatting them up and sending “custom” pics and vids. In exchange, the rich, old dudes give them money for their surgery. — I just threw up a little.
  • In 2004, Zhang Di won a competition in China dubbed “Miss Ugly.” The result? She got about $16,000 worth of plastic surgery—including a new mouth and nose. Her hairline and jawline were also reshaped. [The Age] — The horror, the horror.
  • In her book Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion, former “house bunny” Izabella St. James dishes about the huge weekly allowance she got from Hugh Hefner. This notorious womanizer reportedly gives his gals an allowance of $1,000 a week. For special events, they get an extra $2,000. In addition to the dough, the girls get a slew of free fixes, including plastic surgery, facials, room, and board. [Amazon] — Maybe Hef should have helped Izabella pay for an editor, because her book got terrible reviews.

So, what do you think? Is plastic surgery any better when it’s free? Or does that make it worse?

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