You’re walking down the street feeling kind of sassy and doing the whole hip-swinging thing. Those heels are new and gloriously flattering, so you pretend you’re offended when an entire construction crew starts going wild. Really, though, you know it’s because you look damn good. Well, you thought it was because you looked damn good …
Actually, your skirt is tucked into the granny panties you wear when you’re too lazy to do your laundry and there’s nothing else in the drawer. Sure, your new shoes are hot, but that’s probably not what those men are howling about. We’ve all been there, and it’s tragic every time. But those wardrobe malfunctions, from nip-slips to skirt rips and everything in between, are an unavoidable part of life. So, the next time you’re trying to cover the chocolate milk stain on your white pants, keep these stories in mind and know that you’re not alone.
“I bought this gorgeous white sun dress with a bustier top last summer. My chest isn’t that big and the dress was structured, so I decided to go bra less—bad choice. It took me hours to realize, but the dress was see-through. And I mean you could see everything.”—Sam
“It’s the classic story: Girl wears hot dress, girl walks down street, subway goes by underground, and girl is mooning the entire block in her pink lacy thong. It looked glamorous when Marilyn did it, but it’s not so cute when it happens to you.” —Regina
“I was running late for a job interview when my heel got stuck in a grate right outside the building and ripped off. But yes, I hobbled inside in an attempt to maintain a few shreds of dignity. Everyone looked a tad confused, but I laughed it off and actually ended up getting the job!”—Emily
“I work in an office where we have to wear suits daily. Not looking dowdy is kind of difficult, so I try to wear fitted button-downs underneath my jacket. It totally works when I stand out from my female colleagues, but not the time I stretched my arms in a meeting one morning and three buttons popped off simultaneously. Oops.” —Alana
“I had an end-of-summer party last year and decided to wear a gorgeous vintage cocktail dress. The only problem is that I have no boobs, and the top had boning, so it looked really weird and stiff. To fix the problem, I stuffed my bra with tissue paper, just like in fifth grade. And also just like in fifth grade, halfway through the night, some one laughed and pointed the bright pink tissue paper that was coming out of my top. Humiliating!”—Sara
“I was wearing the shortest, cutest flouncy skirt with a thong, which I knew was dangerous. All day long, I kept pulling it down, and all was well, until I walked into a gas station with a hot guy right on my tail. He held the door for me, and I smiled at him, and just then, a truck drove by. The wind picked up my skirt, and the dude saw my entire butt in total 3-D. We looked at each other, then looked away embarrassed. It was brutal.”—Lisa