Girl Power: Women Fend Off Bad Guys With Bras, Weaves, Implants, & Batons
Being a girly girl gets a bad rap. But as women across the globe can attest, our female frills aren’t just for show—lookin’ this good can actually save your life. Last week, we told you all about a woman whose cash stuffed bra took a bullet for her. Talk about a bodyguard. And she’s not the only woman whose been saved by her girly stuff recently. Here are some amazing true stories.
- Baton Rogue. Turns out being a band geek can be good for more than college applications. When a 17-year-old girl on her way to school was mugged by two men, she administered a punch in the nose to one and a kick in the groin to the other before beating them with her marching band baton. [AP] [Channel 6 Indiana] — That talented gal can strike up more than the band.
- Ex-Men Origins: Weaverine. When this 20-year-old Kansas City girl spotted her violent ex-boyfriend in a convenience store, she ran for cover to her car. Good thing she had just gotten her hair done because when her ex pulled a gun and fired it at her head, the bullet got caught in her “tightly-woven weave.” [Black Voices] — In addition to her mane, she clearly had life extensions.
- Pile Up. In Bulgaria, a driver who got in a car crash survived because her fake boobs cushioned her from the smash. While she had spent thousands of dollars on her rack, she cheaped out when it came to the car’s safety features. Luckily, her funbags acted like airbags. [Sky News] — Maybe she should invest in more cushion for accidental pushin’ and get some butt implants to save her from tail gaters?
- Purse Curse. This college student put up a fight when a mugger demanded her phone and wallet, but when he shot at her, the bullet was stopped by her oversized purse and its contents. [MSNBC] — This totally justifies carrying everything you own in your tote. Bad for your back, but good for you.
- The Real Miracle Bra. Push up bras won’t stop your boobs from looking saggy, but they can stop a bullet. When robbers shot at a 57-year-old Detroit woman, she was saved by the underwire in her bra. [The Frisky] — This is proof of what stylists have been telling us for years—every woman needs strong foundation garments.
The moral of the story: The next time some dude tries to guilt you about wasting your money on frills, tell him it could save your life.