I have a substance abuse problem. The substance is any iteration of “The Real Housewives” on Bravo. There, I said it. In any case, I endured “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” enjoyed “The Real Housewives of New York City,” and suffered “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” but nothing, nothing beats how totally awesome “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” looks. There are a bunch of shouty sisters all looking like they can’t wait to slit someone’s neck, and I’ve already got a favorite quote that I intend to use at any and every opportunity: “I don’t like you before I like you.” Bitches are hardcore. That’s how they role in the Garden State, dammit! Anyway, these ladies ain’t frontin’, as the New York Daily News reports this season’s stars have (reputed) mob ties. The father-in-law of sisters Dina and Caroline Manzo was Albert “Tiny” Manzo, a purported member of the Jersey mob who wound up getting whacked and stuffed in somebody’s trunk after he and another “Gambino family soldier” were suspected of skimming off a Staten Island mob-run casino. When Tiny turned up, his 350-pound naked body was wrapped in plastic and had four bullets in it. I can’t wait for the show’s premiere on May 12. [And I'll be liveblogging it, whilst eating a heaping place of spaghetti! -- Amelia] This is going to be way more interesting than a bunch of chicks vacuuming.