Doin’ It With Dr. V: The Truth About Oral Sex

Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, I dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started.

STD Awareness Month is almost over, and I hope you lovers survived. Next week, I’ll go back to answering your burning sex questions — whether they burn literally or not. Today, I want to talk about a mistake I’ve made trying to play it safe.

If I had a nickel for every time I bartered a new partner down from sex to a BJ, I’d be rich! In some situations, oral sex can seem like the best bet to keep him coming back for more and to protect your promised land. But that argument is as busted as Bill Clinton saying he didn’t have sex relations with Monica Lewinsky. It’s still sex — oral sex, to be exact! While I used to think I was Lady Safety for starting off slow(ish) with a beej, oral is as risky a way to get frisky. Even though he’s not sticking his beef in your buns, your mouth is as ready to be an STD sandwich. New research shows it can even cause cancer. While we gals can get a lot of things, we can’t seem to catch a break! Here are some things to consider when you’re going down.

  • That’s Not A Frog In Your Throat, It’s A Wart!
    Just last year — in addition to gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, HIV/AIDS, HIV, trichomoniasis, syphilis, and hepatitis — HPV, aka genital warts, reared its ugly head in throat cancer statistics. Since the ’70s, cases of the cancer in the ol’ pipes have risen 39 percent, and doctors found HPV, contracted through oral sex, to be the cause. Bummer.
  • Dam, Girl!
    Last week, I taught you how to put a condom on with your mouth, and if you read the comments, many men agreed it’s a total turn on! So, you shouldn’t be shy about using a dental dam — basicall, a thin sheet of latex — which can be made from a condom. Sure, going down is already a challenge, but what’s a little latex if it can prevent you from getting an STD? Hold the dental dam over your mouth — not over his johnson — and lick away. Honestly, if you think that’ll ruin everything, remember that a guy will never turn down a beej. Like any contract, while you’re holding onto the goods, you’ve got to negotiate the best deal for yourself. And the same instructions apply for when he’s going down on you.
  • Catcher In The Sly
    Stanford University recommends you “swallow or spit, just don’t let it sit.” You’ve got to limit your mucus membrane (mouth and vag) contact with semen. But, honey, you’ve got a whole body, and John Mayer can tell you it’s a wonderland, full of plenty of sexy parts. Now, if he does finish in your mouth, get rid of it fast. Your best bet is to have him make a big splash elsewhere. Ask your partner to give you the head’s up when he’s about blow. Then, offer him a sexy alternative space to show off his finale. Seriously, you boobs are so close by, they’ve already caught his eye. I say put them to good use.