What Is A Boy?

Esquire.com has an interesting essay by Tom Chiarella: “What Is A Man?” A sample:

A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man can speak to dogs. A man doesn’t point out that he did the dishes. A man knows how to lose an afternoon. Drinking, playing Grand Theft Auto, driving aimlessly, shooting pool. A man does not wither at the thought of dancing. But it is generally to be avoided.

Being a fan of well-written, funny generalizations, I wasn’t offended by the list, nor did it strike me as particularly sexist. Although, many of the “manly” attributes apply as easily to women. Many are qualities I love in any person. The anti-thesis of “What Is A Man?”, it seems to me, is “What Is A Boy?” Check my list out after the jump.

A boy won’t eat vegetables unless it’s iceberg lettuce on his BLT.
A boy uses a shampoo/conditioner/body wash combo, and the most expensive thing in his bathroom cabinet is his razor.
A boy farts and laughs to himself about it.
A boy’s go-to response during a fight with a woman is: “You’re acting crazy.”
A boy wants what he wants until he gets it, and then he doesn’t want it anymore.
A boy idolizes Hulk Hogan.
A boy always drinks with the intention of getting wasted.
A boy won’t go down on you, but he’ll ask you to go down on him.
A boy ignores a girl after he decides he’s no longer interested, instead of properly ending the relationship.
A boy can’t shop for/take care of himself.
A boy thinks shots are appropriate date drinks.
A boy fakes interest in a woman in order to hook up with her.
A boy never says he’s sorry.

Add your own in the comments!