Hide Your Sons! The Hyena Comes Out To Prey

Just as soon as we’ve tired of hearing, using, typing, writing the word “cougar,” a new type of female has emerged from the forest. According to Dr. Jennifer Austin Leigh, the “number one teen girl expert in America,” men have another feline to worry about — the “hyena.” “Hyena” describes a much younger woman/girl, who preys upon and dominates young men. The female hyena (the real one), you see, is much more sexually aggressive than her male counterpart — just like many of today’s teen girls and young women, says Best. She coined the term in her new book, “Laid or Loved? The Secrets Guys Wish You Knew About Being a Dream Girl Instead of a Just-in-his-Jeans Girl,” in which she quotes a teenage boy describing the loss of his virginity.

“I was at a party and had too much to drink. One of the girls decided she wanted a thrill and pulled off my pants and made me get a hard-on and had sex with me … Everyone watched. Some friends even took pictures of us on their cell phones. I don’t remember a lot of it. But I regret that I lost my virginity like that.”

Wow. Crazy. But is this one example really indicative of some raging epidemic? While I’d normally write off such clever term coinage as just a sales ploy, our own Susannah Breslin says she’s heard stories like this. On a recent trip to California, where she was hanging out with porn stars (no really!), one of the women told her about engaging in gang bangs in high school “for fun.” She, of course, decided she might as well get paid for it, which is why she’s in porn, but seriously, WTF? Gang bangs? In high school?

Even still, I think this and the story in Leigh’s book are just extreme examples which prove that, yes, teen girls are decidedly more…expressive of their sexuality than they were even 10 years ago. You could easily “blame” that on the weird mixed messages girls are getting from society and pop culture, but I’m not entirely sure the trend as a whole is so negative. I mean, would we rather they be totally sexually repressed? No thank you. I hardly doubt gang bangs are every teenage girl’s favorite after school activity, but I do think, and the statistics are showing, that more teenagers are having sex — and if teenage girls are doing more of the initiating (“preying”) then so be it. No one cares what teenage boys do with their boners — but when girls show some sexual aggression, it’s a full blown trend that requires descriptions better suited for the The Nature Channel.

Whatever. Really, the main cause for concern should be that these predatory, horny hyenas aren’t getting a proper sex education. Am I right? [Salon’s Broadsheet]