In today’s installment of GOOP, the newsletter we love to hate and hate to love, Gwyneth Paltrow bores us to tears with words of wisdom about “evil tongue,” i.e. speaking evil of others. Before asking her various gurus and life coaches and self-help experts to help her understand “the consequences of perpetuating negativity or feeling schadenfreude,” she talks about her experience with a “frenemy” and admits that her own tongue, GASP, is occasionally evil.
Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness. There went the high road.
Naturally, we didn’t give a s**t about any of GOOP’s “lessons” about, um, s**t-talking, but we did go cuh-razy hypothesizing about WHO this “frenemy” could be. Frankly, it’s so obvious, it’s almost sad. Our theory, after the jump.Back in the late ’90s, Gwynnie and Winona Ryder were besties and dating fellow besties, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. The foursome was inseparable. Rumor has it, Winona had the script to “Shakespeare In Love,” Gwyneth saw it at her house and snatched it up, eventually stealing the part from underneath her nose. She went on to win the Oscar. Winona and Gwyneth haven’t been friends since. Oh, and the “something unfortunate and humiliating” that happened to Winona? Um, does getting busted shoplifting Marc Jacobs ring a bell?
Does inserting a blind item SO OBVIOUS into a nationwide newsletter count as “speaking evil of others”?