Little Edie’s Fashion Rules

Here’s Edie Beale in the original “Grey Gardens,” describing her “best costume for the day,” an insane combo of pantyhose and safety pins. Best costume, indeed.

The fashion expert claims, “I don’t like women in skirts…you understand.” We understand she means a plain old skirt. But a skirt fashioned out of a turtleneck or cardigan — now that’s another story, darling.

After the jump, the essentials of how to get Edie’s pantyhose-over-pants-under-skirt look. Note: You must pair with major attitude.

  • A shirt or cardigan worn around your waist, upside-down, using the sleeves to tie it closed, and the opening as a slit. You can it take off later and wear it as a cape if you want. Because who needs a boring denim jacket for spring when you can rock out a capelet?
  • “Pants,” as Edie calls them, which appear to us to be tight shorts or knickers. Always smart to wear, especially if your skirt or dress is billowy.
  • Stockings that go over the “pants” and under the “skirt.” Starting to get a little kooky here, but it might make sense if you haven’t shaved your legs.
  • Safety pins that you will hope to God will keep this crazy original costume together.
  • Head scarf. People will think this is part of your bohemian allure, but it’s really to smartly cover your bed-head—or bald head, in Edie’s case.
  • Flashy brooch to pin to the top of your head scarf. This will distract them even more from the fact that you are disheveled/bald.
  • Soft-toe dancing shoes. You never know when you’ll need to break out into spontaneous song and dance, especially if “Tea for Two” is playing.
  • Tube of red lipstick. Every lady’s armor. Even when the health inspectors are coming to evict you from your house, greeting them without it would be like being naked!
  • Strong perfume, preferably something classy like Chanel No. 5, to cover up the smell of cat pee.