Dating is all flirty fun until you go out with someone a few times and then decide you’re not so into them. But how do you tell them you don’t want to see them anymore? Lately, we’ve been noticing that men are pulling the sensitive card more and more often, using their supposed emotional vulnerability as an excuse for everything from getting out of dating us to getting out of sex. I’ve had not one but two men tell me they thought I was wonderful, blah, blah, blah, but they just got out of a relationship and weren’t ready to date. It was more like they didn’t want to date me, and they thought they could let me down easy by blaming their tender hearts. We’re not against men who are actually in touch with their emotions, just those who pretend to be so they aren’t required to tell us the truth. After the jump, five stories from women who have had men pull the sensitive card on them (when they weren’t really all that sensitive).
The classic move that I’ve received more times than I can count is: ‘I just can’t give what you need right now. I can’t give you what you deserve.’ Excuse me, but I am an adult. I will decide what I need and deserve. You do not need to worry your pretty little head over me. Oh wait, that’s right, you’re not. You’re just pretending to because you don’t want to seem like a complete a**hole. – Karen
This year I was been dating, well, more sleeping with, a British man. We definitely weren’t exclusive, so we both knew we were sleeping with other people. He mentioned back in December that he felt smitten with an Australian woman he had met. When I booty-called him a couple months later, he told me he didn’t think we should hook up because he “didn’t want to hurt me.” And I was, like, “Oh, please, you’ve just coupled up with the Australian and you don’t want to tell me.” So I called him on it and he admitted that I was right. But he definitely tried to play the “I don’t want to hurt you!” card instead of telling the truth. – Hannah
I think my favorite breakup was with a guy who said the following: ‘I don’t feel connected to you. I think two people should feel connected. And right now, I don’t feel connected to anything.’ Ugh, it still makes me mad just thinking about it. It’s such a cop-out. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There is no such things as “connection.” There is attraction, and then there is the work you put in to make a relationship happen. If you say there’s “no connection,” you might as well just say, ‘I’d rather not f**k you anymore. Please collect your things and leave so I can commence f**king other people.’ – Pauline
Sometimes guys play the sensitive card on me when they are trying to get me to date them. They’ll talk about their broken heart and how they just want to meet the one and settle down, how they really are just a nice guy but no one understands them. I’m pretty sure it’s just an act. – Adrienne
I once had a boyfriend who I dumped partly because he was too sensitive. Of course, I totally wanted to get back together with him later. I thought he had been pining away for me, so I didn’t really care that he had some girlfriend, and I was like: GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME! To which he replied that his new girlfriend was suicidal and in a mental hospital right now so he had to take care of her. I mean, it was kind of true, she was both of those things. But like, he could have kind of taken care of her in the loony bin and been with me, right? – Rachel
I was really into my boyfriend when we went on our first date and probably would have had sex with him on the second date. But I didn’t, because he didn’t think we should. Even though we’d spent a couple of nights together during our first month of dating but hadn’t done anything besides make out because he wanted to wait. When we talked about it, he said he thought a month was too early for us to have sex, even though we were dating each other exclusively. Finally, I couldn’t handle him acting so delicate, and I ended up seducing him one night. – Niki