The 15 Different Kinds Of Guys That There Are
The Stranger‘s has a hilarious column called “The Different Kinds Of People That There Are: A Complete List,” which is, of course, not a complete list by any means, but is still hilarious. Here’s a sample:
People Who Will Just Have a Bite of Whatever You’re Having: Please, please, please just order your own lasagna.
People Who Studied Abroad in a Third-World Country: Congratulations.
People Who Are Secret Hookers: They’re your friends, but they’re hookers! Ssssh!
After I was done laughing, I realized there’s a similar list to be made about the different types of GUYS there are. Check out 15 generalizations, after the jump!1. Guys who will do just about anything, but chop off their nuts, in order to screw without a condom.
2. Guys who consider their sneaker collection more valuable than family photos and cherished memories.
3. Guys who would never admit to loving “Real Housewives,” but totally do, especially NeNe, she’s the bomb!
4. Guys who always leave the toilet seat up and never put out a new roll of TP.
5. Guys who are so comfortable with their sexuality that they are totally down for a little anal play. Just don’t tell anyone.
6. Guys who hook up with women on the first date and then act like these same women are sluts for hooking up with them.
7. Guys who think menstrual cramps aren’t really painful, but get sympathy pains when they watch a guy get kicked in the nuts on YouTube.
8. Guys that are always broke, because they’re chasing their next big cash in…which never comes.
9. Guys who want to marry their moms.
10. Guys who consider themselves feminists because they never, ever pay for a date.
11. Guys who never, ever, ever call you again, even though, seriously, the date went f**king awesome.
12. Guys who don’t see the point of having a top sheet when the fitted sheet works just fine on its own.
13. Guys who don’t cry, except for when their favorite sports team loses the big game.
14. Guys who don’t wear deodorant because they think their natural scent is manly.
15. Guys who seem really progressive and supportive of your goals and career, but then slowly start to reveal that they’re just looking for a June Cleaver to cook them dinner and make them babies.