For The Week Of April 6-12, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

As the sign of efficiency, you tend to just assume the job of caretaker, navigator, events coordinator, etc. Hell honey, that is no way to live! Lucky for you, your baby is going to see it that way too and decide to get off his lazy little entitled butt (and without being told too) and work up a nice surprise for you, as in showing that he’s in for the ride too.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re a true romantic and god knows, everyone loves you for it. However, life isn’t working so great from that point of view, which means you’re going to have to kick a little more ass to get things going in the direction you want them to be in. Yes, this means dealing with those daily little responsibilities that get in the way of daydreaming.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Whoever is the one that is closest to you will be the one that’ll reveal many more thoughts and feelings inside them than you ever suspected was brewing behind that placid façade. Yes, emotions will be running high this week as your comfort zone gets shaken up with a little more fire, which if wielded properly will heat you up to prime tasting temperatures.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your caution will be on, as things you hear and feelings you have will be slowing you down to question the current scene you are in. Not to say you will be horrified, but with life having steamrolled you out into the place you are now, it’s been a while since you’ve had any real time to collect yourself — this week though, tune yourself back to full sharpness.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

No matter what your boo says to you, you’re the one with the brains in this relationship and it’s you that will have to also deal with your current dilemma and digging yourself out from the wreckage. Thankfully, he’ll be on board for whatever you have on the agenda — as he should have been all along.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As smart as you think you are, your baby isn’t going to be buying any of your reasons or ideas for future plans right off the bat. Yes, this week is all about standstills, creating all sorts of aggravating and cheeky tensions. So, if you’re as bright as you think you are, twist this power for your gain, to get what you want and prove who the real master is.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your mind will be floating on a marshmallow cloud and all will seem dreamy and creamy, as love is the drug that takes you higher and higher. No matter what all the naysayers have to say, screw ‘em! This is your time to feel so pretty and even if your world comes crashing down soon after, this moment of bliss would still be worth it.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ve made your mistakes, now, time to deal with them. If this means a little groveling, well that might just be the ticket to turn on that special someone that you’ve wronged in that tingly way that’ll make them swoon with a glimmer of hope for you. However, fate is on patrol and to truly get back into the game, it’s going to take more than just fast fixes, but true patience.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You don’t have to have all the answers all the time, but if you can just flub it and sound like you can hold your own, for now, that is all that will be required of you. Yes, efficiency is the theme and as long as you can keep the motion in a forward direction, then karma will pick up and shuffle you along onto the right path accordingly. You know it, just look pretty.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’re no dummy and for that, accept that when someone cute crosses your path with no game, it means no potential. Yes, as sad as it is, you’re way past just getting off on one-dimensional hotness. While it might be fun to string it along, why waste the time? There are so many better ways to spend your time than feeding your ego on empty calories — like feeding your wallet.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Get ready for a deluge of emotions you’ve been putting off to finally hit you and throw your balance majorly off. Instead of throwing yourself a grand pity party though, use it to resort your mind and get your priorities back in order — and remembering you have friends, because it goes, true love isn’t about only playing master and servant.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Sweet promises have a way of hypnotizing you and leading you to follow wherever those sounds are coming from. This week though, a major pause is going to be happening as you size up the actions versus the words, and it might seem that the equation won’t balance out in your favor, which only means one thing — taking back control big time!