An Open Letter To Seth Rogen

Hey dude!
Love your glasses! But seriously, you need to gain some weight back. I’m all for gettin’ heart healthy, cutting back on the trans-fats and the beer intake, but you’ve taken it too far. How do I know? Because with all the poundage, you’ve lost your ability to be funny. Your “Saturday Night Live” hosting gig this weekend was terrible and we can only blame the writers so much. Your delivery was awful! I mean, who’s ever heard of a funny guy who isn’t funny? I’m not sure why you lost your giggle-inducing talent along with the weight, but if you want to save your career, you’ll start chowing down on the McGangBangs FAST. Also, be careful with the roles you choose. Your cameo in “Superbad” was genius — your starring role in the upcoming “Observe and Report” is cause for concern. Not everyone’s terrible choices go the way of Jimmy Fallon, who somehow managed to score a late-night hosting gig despite “Taxi” and “Fever Pitch.” Oh and seriously, even if you hadn’t sucked on “SNL” this weekend, I still would be suggesting you trim back on the trimming back — you were cuter with a lil’ meat on your bones.
Love,
Amelia
P.S. A clip of your “SNL” monologue is after the jump, for those who were lucky enough to miss it the first time.