The Real Housewives Of NYC: Kelly Bensimon Brings The Crazy

On last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives Of New York City,” Kelly Bensimon attempted to tear Bethenny a new you-know-what for daring to call her “Madonna” at the arthritis charity meeting. Bethenny, as you may recall, was appalled that Kelly wouldn’t put her name on the invitation (Kelly doesn’t lend her name to anything), which just added to her general dislike of the latest housewife.

[Note: Personally, I think the [soon-to-be-former] C(o)untess LuAnn had Kelly added to the show so she would seem less evil in comparison. Totally worked, FYI, as LuAnn seems like Mother Theresa to me now.]Anyhoo, Kelly had Bethenny meet her at a crowded bar, showed up late, and then went on a tirade about her being “above” Bethenny and how they’d never be friends. Bethenny remained cool as a cucumber. Probably smart, considering Kelly could crush Bethenny (her muscles scare me!), but Kelly came off looking totally crazy and incredibly, amazingly, pathologically — oh I’m gonna say it (sorta) — c**ty. I literally wanted to claw her eyes out myself, but didn’t want to hurt my plasma.

Another reason to catch this episode on repeat if you can: Ramona and Mario got in a big ol’ fight with Alex and Simon because they felt “offended” that the couple didn’t alert them in advance that nudie photos of Alex would be hitting the tabloids. Apparently, Ramona and Mario are religious or something, so nudity offended them. That’s why God invented tacky bating suits and whorish dresses right?!