Miley Cyrus has to promote “Hannah Montana: The Movie,” which is projected to earn $1 billion, so what does she do? She heads to Glamour for her first women’s magazine cover. Forget the fact that the movie is rated G and, therefore, way off target for Glamour‘s readers. And, instead, question what 16-year-old Miley has to say to women. Despite the title of the cover story, “America’s Most Famous Girl Grows Up,” Miley sounds like the typical teenager and gives an interview that would have been more appropriate for Seventeen.Miley tries to speak with an authority, but she really just sounds like an average teenager who is the center of her own world. She says she’s already had a life-changing romantic relationship. She calls her relationship with Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers her first real relationship, and she was only 13 when it started. They were a couple for two years, and it was “hard-core.” At 13, any relationship feels like a “real relationship” because you’re trying to act like an adult. Miley says dating 20-year-old Justin Gaston made her happy again after her bad breakup from the Jonas kid. But like a child trying to seem wiser beyond her years, she admits that at first she was a little apprehensive about dating Justin. “I don’t want to get close to you, because I don’t know where this is going to go,” she says she told him after their first date. I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe she said this, especially since Miley associates the word “boyfriend” with “Hot. Really hot” and nothing else. And if she did make that statement, then she saw it in some rom-com and thought it made her sound mature.
Miley doesn’t say anything that’s really applicable to the average woman’s life. She’s sorry about photos that made her seem like a racist. But warns that this controversy probably won’t be the last. “The minute I stop making mistakes is the minute I stop learning,” she said. Hey Miley, mistakes aren’t the only way adults learn. Sometimes we have enough common sense not to say or do offensive things. Oh yeah, and she promises to make her mom and dad proud. And she’s a huge fan of both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.
Glamour, I’m sure, satisfied Miley’s legions of fans with this cover story, but it was at the expense of its dedicated readers. Miley Cyrus is a kid is hardly an appropriate cover girl for a magazine targeted at women. Seriously, are times that tough Glamour? Who’s next? Dakota Fanning? Suri Cruise? How about the zygote in Nicole Richie’s belly?