Liveblogging “America’s Next Top Model”

Hello lovelies! I’m going to be out and about tonight and will watch “Top Model” on DVR later, but Sasha will be here to liveblog the latest episode tonight at 8 pm EST! Will Tyra continue to hate Celia for ratting out Tahlia’s wavering interest? Oooh, cannot wait to watch. — Amelia 7:59 I have to admit, I still can’t remember all these idiots’ names, and there is still an unholy amount of them–NINE!!-so I may identify them by clothing items, hair color or other distinctive qualities. The credits went by way too fast for me to learn their names. Tahlia has rather poufy bangs. Celia should be a union organizer instead of a model. What the hell is around Tahlia’s waist? It’s ask, not “axe,” all y’all girl on the stairs. Bitchfight extraordinaire. Whine whine whine, big-eyed girl who sort of looks like Fiona Apple. This is becoming like a very disturbing political rally. Serious model revolution.

8:09 Wow, that mean girl spelled stupid right. Bitches and backstabbers! OH, Yeah!

8:15 Wow! The models know the mannequins are missing faces. Exploding mannequin. Very scary. Oh Jay, you look like a Red Velvet cupcake today. Wait? What the hell is this challenge? It’s Beth Stern, wife of Howard Stern. What an icon of fashion. It is very surprising that Beth practices expressions in front of a mirror. Creative and original indeed. Tiana’s weave not lookin’ so good. Celia is really good at looking at herself in a mirror. Talent! Fo, make love to the mirror! Jay is afraid Sondra’s gonna cut him. This lesson is making them more conceited than EVAH. Is this challenge How to be an icon? What is that? I look in the mirror and make weird expressions at myself all the time. Does that make me icon?

8:24 Faceless Tyra! I kind of LOVE it. Jay sounds like he’s describing all this to brain dead gerbils. You have a face. You can make expressions with it! GET IT?? Celia’s face looks really bizarre on Tyra’s body. this is all reminding me of people at carnivals stinking their heads on body builder bodies. This is getting eerie. Models morphing into various Tyras. Natalie totally blends into the Tyra cut out. Nice job! This is absurd. Celia needs to loosen up. Allison is so gorgeous. I am so mad at the show for making her insecure about her awesome eyes. YAY! What’s up with the prizes? Natalie gets more frames in next shoot? Didn’t they used to get shopping sprees and shizz?

8:35 Tahlia is quite brave for calmly confronting Celia. I’d be scared of her. Why did they just show Tahlia’s scar? Seriously, Celia, gets out of Tahlia’s biznatch! I think I am on Team Tahlia, but I’m not sure. Powder-splashing? Emote a color? Allison looks like her face is bleeding pink profusely.Green Aminat. Twitchy eye. Blowing powder into a model’s eyes is a great way to make sure you partially blind them. Great idea for photo shoot. Jay is a genius and so is his photog friend. Yello Tayona is so not exuding yellow. Fo so fierce! Red is a pretty obvious color, though. Blue lipstick is awesome on London! I want that blue lipstick! Jay wants “throbbing passion.” I don’t like it when Jay says “throbbing.” What color is Celia? is that gray? Yes Jay! Celia very much looks like Linda Evangelista. Celia finally released the constipated face. Breakthrough, girl!

8:48 Fo reads Tyramail rather seductively. I sense a change in her since she gazed up on herself so passionately in that mirror expression lesson. I want to see Celia twirl if she loses. Wow, Tyra knows how to say nine in Spanish. She is so cultured. Oh my Miss J, that is all I can say. I think Keith Major has slept with Tyra and Jay. Oh great, now they’re making Natalie insecure. Give some bones to your face? Tyra, you are insane. Thank the lord that Tyra told Tahlia to de-pouf her hairhorn. Tyra’s compliments are so backhanded. Miss J is making me crack up with his eye-popping theatrics. Oh man, Celia looks like a total knockout! She will so twirl if she gets kicked out, but I don’t think she’s going home. Ya, I’m sure the Obamas are going to hang a pic of powdery yellow Teyona in the White House. Allison is barely making an expression in her picture. Paulina, I forgot you were there. why did Tyra just become Ethel Merman?

8:54 Celia may be going. Nigel is very harsh tonight. What’s the prob, Barky? Can I help ya out? Just don;’t call me a “drip.” who just said “she vomited blue and then she died.”? Damn, Nigel is being a bitch! Put that fist down Tyra, you are frightening me. Freckly Fo triumphs! Natalie’s ensemble is rather hookish. Sondra’s pictures are too “to the side.” HORRORS!! I really find it hard to believe that the judges and Tyra have never experienced backstabbing and Celia-like behavior in the fashion world. Phew, Celia wins. She just needs to CHILL!! Whoa, Tyra’s got a vendetta? Who is her nemesis? Is it Naomi? We will see Sondra’s buttshorts no more. She is the BEST, according to her. Goodnight.