As many of you who have been reading The Frisky for awhile know, I was engaged for much of the site’s lifespan. I was with my fiance for four years when he proposed on New Year’s Eve 2007. I wrote about being engaged for The Frisky in a regular column, “So I’m Engaged.” When he suddenly left me last September, I was, frankly, devastated to the point where I could not get out of bed. I missed a week of work and lost about 10 pounds. I felt absolutely mortified by the existence of those “So I’m Engaged” columns and couldn’t stand the thought of anyone reading them. They felt like the words of someone in a one-sided relationship, and their existence hurt me and embarrassed me. So, I took them down.Our breakup wasn’t “official” (and by official I mean I finally changed my Facebook status to “single”) until mid-December, but during those few months between, I wrote a lot about what I was feeling in “The Break-Up Diaries.” I wrote about cutting off my hair, trying (and failing!) to have rebound sex, and questioning whether my ex had cheated on me or not. And then I wrote about the fog lifting, and realizing things truly were better off this way, and that I was OK with — scratch that, relieved to be single and free of someone who couldn’t be the partner I want and need.
Today, I put those “So I’m Engaged” columns back online, not because I particularly want to go back and read them (they still make my stomach hurt), but so you can, to give you a bit of history — as I start writing about dating again in a new column tentatively titled “Dating Amelia.” I have been totally nervous about writing about my personal life again and think I will be a little cautious at first. Going through the breakup of a relationship that you wrote about online is an interesting thing. I felt a little bit like the woman who wrote How Stella Got Her Groove Back and then found out the hot dude who gave her that groove back was totes gay on the side. Anyway, I got so many nice emails from people who I had never met, and the site got tons of comments from women who had been heartbroken and were pissed off about it, too.
But you know what? I’m getting back up on that horse. I’m excited to DATE again, and I’m excited to write about it — with the promise that I will protect the privacy of everyone I go out with. Get ready for some nicknames! Wendy Atterberry wrote a somewhat controversial post the other day about some singles needing to stop whining. I think I’m more of a Happy than a Crappy, but I definitely have my “woe is me” moments, where I feel like I’ll never meet my match. I’m a person who enjoys my solitude and am content being single, but I also want to find love, receive love, and give love — and I’m excited to put myself out there and see what happens.